THE OTHER DAY a friend of mine lost her dad.
It wasn’t unexpected, but as most of us know, there’s a limit to how ready you can ever be for something like that.
My friend is one of a number of siblings, but she’s been the local and the caregiver, and, like most of us, wouldn’t have had it any other way.
So it goes. I’m sorry.
As noted, her dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, yet he left no will. I don’t know why.
Often, people don’t make wills because a) they don’t think they need one because they aren’t “rich.” b) they just didn’t know they needed one — period. c) they didn’t know what to do to “do” one, d) they thought it would be too expensive to get one “done” or e) they couldn’t or wouldn’t face the inevitability of their own mortality so just sort of ignored it, figuring (I guess) that if they didn’t call attention to themselves, death wouldn’t notice them and would move on.
I can absolutely assure you that e) above almost never works, and I have no idea which one or more of the above applied to my friend’s father, so I’m going to let the gentleman rest in peace and move on to the real point, which is make a will.
A legal document
From the beginning: A will is a legal document that says who gets what — and how much — of your stuff, money and property when you move on to better things, but not until then.
It also can do other things such as name a guardian for minor children, create a trust and a trustee, and name an executor, that being the lucky devil who gets to deal with divvying up your stuff, money and property.
You do not need to be rich or even well off to need one of these.
If you have any money or any property or any stuff that you want to have go “here” as opposed to “there,” you need one of these.
Do you know what happens if you cash in without one of these? Right.
We have laws that call the shots, so here’s what will happen: If there is a surviving spouse (or state-registered domestic partner), they’ll get all of the “community property” (what you had together) plus some of the “separate property” (what you kept to yourself), with the rest divided up among children and/or parents.
No surviving spouse or registered domestic partner?
Then everything goes to 1) living children, divided equally; 2) surviving parents; 3) then equally among surviving brothers and sisters, maybe their children and all kinds of other relatives, and it all gets very complicated.
No family at all? It goes to the state of Washington.
If you don’t care, do nothing
Now, if all of that is just swell with you, or you don’t particularly like your kids or whoever else will have to hassle with your stuff, then I guess you should proceed with doing nothing.
If it isn’t, or if you do, then make a will.
Should you consult an attorney? In my opinion, yes.
These things can get more complicated than you might think, and attorneys know the right questions to ask you so that what actually happens will be what you actually wanted.
Besides, you can often get a deal on a package of a will, a durable power of attorney, a community property agreement and an advance directive, and it’s not usually as pricey as you might think.
If all else fails, are there resources that might help you get this done? Maybe.
Do you have to consult an attorney? No.
For a will to be legal in Washington, it has to be written, dated and signed.
You (the one making the will) have to be at least 18 and legally competent.
It has to be witnessed by at least two legally competent adults (one of whom could be a notary public, if you’re smart), and neither of them should be beneficiaries, nor do they need to know what the will says.
No witnesses, no valid will. Period.
That’s it. Not the best approach, perhaps, but it beats the heck out of nothing.
A will made in another state, according to that state’s requirements, is valid. Again, not the best, but it’s something.
How long will it last?
So, once you’ve done a will, how long will it last?
Basically, as long as you do — or until you change it.
Can you change it? Sure, anytime.
And because our lives have an annoying habit of changing, it’d be smart to yank it out and look it over every now and again to ensure that it still sounds like your current life.
Yes, you can get will kits and forms.
Are they legal here?
If you do what I said above, yes.
Are they the best? No, because very few of us have lives that conform nicely to kits.
But again, it’s way out in front of nothing.
Do yourselves and the people you purport to love a favor and take care of this, OK?
There is no such thing as after the fact. You either cared enough or you didn’t.
And death doesn’t care — one way or the other.
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Mark Harvey is director of Clallam/Jefferson Senior Information &Assistance, which operates through the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He is also a member of the Community Advocates for Rural Elders partnership. He can be reached at 360-452-3221 (Port Angeles-Sequim), 360-385-2552 (Jefferson County) or 360-374-9496 (West End), or by emailing harvemb@dshs.wa.gov.