IT WAS ANOTHER tough week in the news. We almost didn’t need a bombshell press release from Olympic National Park to ruin our weekend with yet another example of how Mother Nature is revolting.
The Olympic Mountains don’t have any dangerous animals such as grizzlies or rattlers, but tourists get into trouble anyway.
This week’s wilderness warning concerns the mating season of our iconic Olympic Elk, which is happening now.
The bull elk grow a new set of antlers every year just to get ready for the rut. They started rubbing the velvet off their brand-new set of antlers a few weeks ago, revealing a nasty set of ivory-tipped spikes capable of doing damage to anything from trees to other elk.
As the season of the rut progresses, the elk tend to get cranky.
The National Park Service wants to remind visitors that bull elk are really aggressive this time of year. It’s up to us not to give them a reason to attack. Like they need a reason.
The Roosevelt elk is a sensitive, intelligent woodland creature. A bull elk can be an extremely unpredictable 1,000-pound animal with a mass of ivory-tipped spikes on his head.
Moving closer than 100 feet away from an elk is not a good idea unless it is elk hunting season. Then, it is almost impossible to get within a mile of them.
Elk may be just dumb animals. But they are often a lot smarter than humans.
The elk are quite aware that there is no elk hunting season in our national parks, so you would be wise to keep your distance. The elk almost don’t need a reason to attack humans. Just look what we are doing to their planet.
Then there are the hordes of tourists who have spent the summer harassing the elk to get a picture someone will “like” on social media.
The National Park Service reminds us once again to keep your pets on a leash or leave them home, since elk may chase or attack loose animals — with good reason.
Many of these loose animals are bathroom challenged, leaving loads of nasty surprises out in the woods where you least expect them. Perhaps the elk are doing a public service by attacking loose animals. You be the judge.
We are also advised to never imitate elk calls. No matter how much you may have paid for the elk call.
Tooting on your elk call is an annoying habit that really should get you stomped by an elk. Stop it.
Also, don’t stop in the middle of the road and block traffic if you see an elk from your car. It may beat stopping in the road for no particular reason at all, but not by much.
Just remember, many of your fellow drivers are not mind readers. They have no idea why you are stopping.
Stopping in the middle of the road is a great way to cause a wreck with that other sensitive intelligent woodland creature, the Olympic Mountain log truck driver.
Do the math. They weigh 90,000 pounds. You don’t. And besides, the sound of the impact and crunching metal could scare the elk.
In this day and age of senseless government warnings that tell us not to stick our head in a bucket, put fish hooks in our mouths or drink gasoline, it’s gratifying to heed a reminder that reveals just how out of touch with common sense people are when they go on vacation.
Does the government really think we are that stupid? Yes.
But only because we are. Be careful out there.
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Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “wilderness gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.
He can be reached at 360-683-9867 or by email via patnealproductions@gmail.com.