THE SECRET OF making and keeping New Year’s resolutions is to focus on the little things that can improve our lives, help our fellow man and provide a shining beacon of hope to humanity. All while keeping in mind that sometimes, when dealing with New Year’s resolutions, it is better to resolve not to do things you won’t do instead of promising things you can’t do.

In fact, a recent poll by New Year’s resolution experts determined that many Americans would not be making any New Year’s resolutions this year. There could be many reasons for this beyond the stress and hopeless malaise of our modern, debt-ridden, emotionally bankrupt, consumer-based society that insists we resolve to make grandiose plans for self-improvement, helping others and saving the planet. While ignoring the fact that our resolutions on average only last until the second Friday in January, officially known as “quitters’ day,” when almost everyone gives up and relapses into a former pattern of slovenly excess.

The next most popular New Year’s resolution for 2025 is saving money. Talk about your unrealistic expectations. You’d have to have money in the first place in order to save some.

That is just not in the cards for most of us. Ditto eating healthier. You are not going to save any money eating healthy food.

We live in a country where they charge us more money for food without the added sugar, salt, hormones, antibiotics, herbicides, pesticides and forever chemicals. The junk food is much cheaper.

The typical American diet consists of three basic food groups — grease, sugar and salt. It might not be healthy, but it’s the best we can afford.

As far as exercising more, have you checked out the price of a gym membership? Maybe you think you can go the cheaper route and exercise in the great outdoors, but stepping outside in this wet winter weather is an invitation to pneumonia in a country where medical bills are the No. 1 cause of bankruptcy. Why risk it if your New Year’s resolutions also involve saving money?

For some, spending more time with family and friends is a goal of their New Year’s resolutions. This can dovetail nicely with your other unresolved resolutions by providing an opportunity to borrow money from your loved ones to realize your personal and professional goals.

Helping others has always been a popular New Year’s resolution, so why shouldn’t your family and friends help you? The answer is always no unless you ask.

New Year’s resolutions can offer much more than an opportunity for material gain. Last year, my New Year’s resolutions were to go to the dump and shovel out my house. Talk about your unrealistic expectations.

Have you been to the dump lately? If you go, forget about saving money.

I tried to clean my house, but the vacuum cleaner clogged up with chunks of fishing line and started smoking. It just wasn’t safe, so I shut it off.

For some, a more nuanced intention to New Year’s resolutions can represent a realistic, attainable path to success.

This year, I plan a much more modest approach to New Year’s resolutions in hopes of actually attaining one. It is a simple activity that we can all enjoy. It’s cheap and easy, and one of the few New Year’s resolutions worth keeping. You can do it alone or with others. You can probably do it at work if you’re employed by the government.

It’s good for you and we all need more of it. That’s why this year my New Year’s resolution is to get more sleep.

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Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “wilderness gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.

He can be reached at 360-683-9867 or by email via patnealproductions@gmail.com.