THE NORTH OLYMPIC Peninsula finds itself in decay.
As dark, damp and drafty days descend upon our fair continental corner, parasitic behavior is on the rise.
Chanterelles, boletes, russulas and the rest of its moldy ilk will soon be making a scene in forests and overgrown fields.
Oh yes, it’s going to get fantastically fungal in the coming months, my dear Peninsulites.
The question is, can you handle the world-class contest that accompanies it?
“Mushroom Mania: A Fungal Festivus” returns for the third straight year to the pages of the PDN.
A competition like no other, contestants are called upon to submit their best fungi photographs in three categories to be judged by yours truly.
The winner of each category gets a few extra clams ($50 each) before Christmas time (or whenever the big boss, publisher John Brewer, actually remembers to mail it).
Believe it or not, the contest has been fierce in years past.
Peninsulites celebrate their shrooms like few others, venturing miles into the area’s darkest corners to snag a bag full of fungi.
And these mycophiles guard their secrets closely.
So don’t expect anyone to throw you a bolete in this cutthroat clash of mushroom maniacs.
A total of 40 photos were submitted to the contest in 2009, nearly double the number from the inaugural 2008 event (22).
I’m hoping for even more this time around.
The rules are simple (despite the fact that few follow them):
• Edible mushrooms only.
This rule does not require that they taste good, just that you don’t hallucinate upon ingestion.
This isn’t a Grateful Dead concert.
• Only photos can be submitted.
The last thing I need is more mold gathering around my cubicle.
All photos should be sent to matt.schubert@peninsuladailynews.com.
The deadline for submissions is Nov. 8. Please don’t forget to include your name, address and phone number.
The categories
• Biggest mushroom — Bigger is better when it comes to Mushroom Mania.
Send in a photo of your mushroom next to a ruler that measures in inches. You can keep your highfalutin metric system.
• Mushroom most likely to distract a Twi-Hard (aka prettiest) — Essentially, I’m asking for the fungus that’s easiest on the eyes.
The mushroom in question should be so magical and majestic it would shift a “Twilight” fan’s focus from Edward Cullen to another parasitic organism.
Perhaps I’m asking too much. But why not shoot for the stars?
• Mushroom most resembling a historical figure — I want a bolete that looks like Bob Dylan, a chanterelle that bears resemblance to the Shah, a spore that makes me think of Spartacus.
Provide a picture of your mushroom with a brief explanation who you think it looks like.
Undoubtedly, this will be a difficult task.
But as last year’s contest proved — a Matt Schubert look-a-like took the word “butthead” to a whole new level — anything is possible in the magical world of mushrooms.
Quilcene closure
The Lower Quilcene River and Quilcene/Dabob Bay will close to fishing Saturday.
A low coho run has hatchery officials worried about getting the requisite egg take for this season, thus the closure.
If egg-take needs are met, the fisheries will re-open.
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Matt Schubert is the outdoors and sports columnist for the Peninsula Daily News. His column regularly appears on Thursdays and Fridays. He can be reached at matt.schubert@peninsuladailynews.com.